So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
