ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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