just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
