Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
