mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
