Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
