What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
