I look better un-naked...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
