on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
