First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
