Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
