wake up i wanna do it froggy style
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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