I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize