we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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