So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize