I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
