Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
