ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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