apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
