Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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