He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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