Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
