We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
