don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I could make wine with my vomit
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
