then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
