yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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