I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize