Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize