Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We left the knife in your bed.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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