3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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