He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hippo gnu deer
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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