yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
