Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
