I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
you made out with another girl for some wings
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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