Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
