She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Found your dick twin last night
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
