let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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