Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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