The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
