i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
