covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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