She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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