i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
