He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
