Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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