My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
