i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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