with your own penis?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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