Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I need a burrito and a hug.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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