After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
