she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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