I feel like abortions should bother me more
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
