so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize