I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
