it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
