Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
