Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
