Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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