But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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