perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
