I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
