were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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