Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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