yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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