Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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