we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
