I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
