brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
