I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize