hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
