We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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