every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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