i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
