we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
