this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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