guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
