Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just cut my nipple shaving
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize