the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
