everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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